Return to the Articles page.

Brought to you courtesy of Robert Parker for NC House.


Note: "We should treat guns like we treat cars!"  Opponents 
of gun rights demand more government licenses for weapons, or 
more mandatory testing of gun owners.  "You must pass a test 
and have a license to drive a car, so why shouldn't there be 
the same setup for gun purchases?"

In response, Ron Miller produced this facetious list.


(Exerpt from)

What if guns were treated just like cars?

by Ron Miller

If guns were treated like cars:

1.  You could get a simple license from the state for a nominal 
fee, and only have to take a test that any idiot could pass.  
You'd only have to renew it every 10 years.

2.  You could kill and injure people with your gun while drunk, 
and still have your lawyer get your gun back because you need it 
for work. 

3.  You could carry in any state at any time - because possession 
of a gun is honored nationwide.  It's also considered a basic 
American civil right.

4.  You would see commercials on TV pushing the newest, latest 
guns which you could lease for just $25 per month, (subject to 
the fine print).

5.  You could finance a fancier gun than you can really afford 
by taking a five-year loan with approved credit.

6.  You would have a gun safe built into every house.  In the 
upscale houses, you would have three gun safes.  Inexpensive 
houses and mobile homes would just have a gunrack by the door.

7.  You'd have gun storage lockers at the shopping mall in which 
to store your rifle while shopping.

8.  You could buy ammunition at the 7-11.  Full-service station 
means they'll reload your magazines for you.

9.  If the price of ammunition rose 20%, the federal government 
would relaese war reserves of ammo to bring the price back down 
to the consumer's comfort level.

10.  Every 16-year-old would be looking forward to the day when 
he could take the family revolver to school.

11.  Schools would have shooter's education classes to make sure 
the kids could pass the test.  They would show gory films of 
gunshot wounds.  The squeamish would throw up.

12.  Old people who can hardly see would still be permitted to 
shoot in public, because to disarm them would be to damage their 

13.  There would be such a thing as a "public weapon" for the masses.

14.  You would have MADS: Mothers Against Drunk Shooters.  MADS 
would conduct a campaign of public education - instead of trying 
to use the force of government - to prohibit irresponsible drinking 
and shooting.

15.  You'd have businesses like "Jiffy Gun-Clean" to make life more 

16.  You'd have huge eyesores where piles of guns are left to rust 
in the open at "Gun Junk Yards."

17.   The Japanese would be trying, and succeeding at taking over 
the market for efficient, reliable high-quality guns.  The Koreans 
would be trying to sneak in at the low end of the market.  The 
Germans would be selling premium brands based on better workmanship.

18.  Ted Kennedy would have shot Mary Jo Kopekne instead.

Copyright 2000.  Posted with permission from The Libertarian Enterprise.

Complete article If Guns Were Treated Like Cars at the THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE.

Return to the Articles page.